worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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