So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
