My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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