Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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