You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
