On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
