Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
