is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
