Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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