Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
