I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
