I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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