this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
