we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
