really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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