mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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