just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
