I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
