some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
