dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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