Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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