I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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