Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
