Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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