is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
