jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
