Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
