I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
