don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
