i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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