im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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