we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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