I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
