marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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