my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
