how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
