Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
