I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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