My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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