Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had to cum in my sink.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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