sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
