she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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