bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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