Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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