Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
