He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just want nice things and good sex
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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