We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want her autograph on my taint
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
