so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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