could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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