OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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