we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize