just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
