Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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