The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
