my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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